Vampires Don't Exist
by Nothing Really Specific
Summary: One day after a day's work, Reepicheep and his friend Hyperion the owl had a discussion on vampires and their existence and Reepicheep presents a philosophy on how to change the world. Written out more like a play simply because it is mere conversation and nothing more.


**Vampires Don't Exist **

One day after a day's work, Reepicheep and his friend Hyperion the owl had a discussion on vampires and their existence. The conversation went as follows...

Hyperion: I just realized something.

Reepicheep: Oh really, what's that?

Hyperion: I've realized my calling

Reepicheep: That's wonderful!

Hyperion: Yes it is, and I believe that I can change the world.

Reepicheep: Oh really, and how pray tell do you plan to do that?

Hyperion: Simple, stop all wars, feed the hungry, provide a chance for everyone to be happy.

Reepicheep: Although that's all well and good Hyperion, I fear that you're making a mistake.

Hyperion: What do you mean?

Reepicheep: I mean you cannot _change_ the world. It is physically impossible.

Hyperion: Well, what I meant was-

Reepicheep: What you meant was, 'I believe that I can change humanity.' Well that friend, is an entirely different matter all together.

Hyperion: Well, great, but I still want to change the world.

Reepicheep: Alright then, how would you stop all wars?

Hyperion: By negotiations, by giving them offers they can't refuse.

Reepicheep: So starting a brawl first?

Hyperion: Sure

Reepicheep: And how is that going to work out for you?

Hyperion: Miserable

Reepicheep: Exactly. The problem that I see with your statement of calling is that you confuse yourself on what you want to change. For you are not here to change the world, that's not your job, you are here however to change yourself. You need to look in the mirror and see how ridiculous you look. If you don't see anything odd about yourself then you are the first vampire to see his reflection. I honestly don't see anything in that mirror worth believing in if he goes on saying that he's _'going to change the world'_. That's ridiculous. You cannot change the world, it's too difficult, which is why you must change yourself first. Then, in by doing the first, you change the world. The world isn't run by one individual, or changed by one either, but rather it is changed when one person decides to change themselves, and through that person other people change and so on and so forth. Do you see what I'm saying?

Hyperion: So you're saying that I _can_ change the world, but _before_ I do anything I must have a reality check first?

Reepicheep: Something like that yes, if you want to keep it simple.

Hyperion: Oh, alright then.

Reepicheep: Good, you understand then. I'm glad we had this talk.

Hyperion: Me too...so do you think that vampires exist?

Reepicheep: Why in the world would you ask that?

Hyperion: Well you did use it as a metaphor, so, do you think vampires exist?

Reepicheep (laughs): Well, certain people would say so, but me personally I haven't given much thought to the idea of blood deprived individuals whose only life force is the very thing in which they are deprived of.

Hyperion: So you basically used a metaphor that you don't even agree with to make a point?

Reepicheep: Yes

Hyperion: Isn't that a bit contradictory?

Reepicheep: Not really

(Pause)

Hyperion: Any particular reason?

Reepicheep: Reason for what?

Hyperion: That you haven't given vampires much thought before?

Reepicheep: Because the whole idea is ludicrous and insane Old Boy! It's the merging of three completely different things that were perfectly fine on their own: human beings, bats, and demons. There's something off about it. It's just ridiculous and impractical, but who am I to talk, I'm a talking rodent for goodness sake, you're an owl that's from, where are you from anyway?

Hyperion: Russia

Reepicheep: Right...and you're behaving as if I should know where that is

Hyperion: It's in the human world

Reepicheep: Of course it is, well, I best be going, errands to run that sort of thing.

Hyperion: Alright then, if you anything let me know alright?

Reepicheep: Of course brother, hey, wait a minute

Hyperion: Yes?

Reepicheep: Did you happen to see Trufflehunter this morning?

Hyperion: Yeah why?

Reepicheep: Did he look a bit, odd to you?

Hyperion: He said he wasn't feeling well, something about stomach pains.

Reepicheep: Ah well, it's probably nothing, I check on him later. 'Til next we meet then.

Reepicheep exits.

Hyperion waves with his wing and exits.


End file.
